Goaying Places

Nehemiah unveils his new management strategy, "Sword + Shovel: The Secure & Productive Workplace." (Nehemiah 4)

Note: Links to scripture in this post point to the ESV Online Study Bible, which is currently offering a free trial for the month of March. I wrote briefly about the ESV Study Bible back around Christmas and only recommend it more heartily now. 

This month, I read the “return from exile” block (Ezra, Nehemiah and Esther) for the first time and enjoyed it very much. The literary styles, mixing first person narratives and non-linear chronology, make it a neat and unique portion of scripture. I plan to revisit Esther because of its rich storytelling, but I particularly dug Nehemiah. The character of godly servanthood and how it fits into God-centered spiritual revival is something that the book particularly exemplifies, and those are themes that have been bouncing around in my head and heart for some time now. Revival is a broad topic that I’m just beginning to learn about and get into, but fully living for God in all aspects of my life is something that’s been in the forefront of my thought since I was born again. In this short series of posts, I want to reflect on a few key aspects of Nehemiah’s example as a godly servant that really spoke to me.

True to the literary flair employed in all three books, Nehemiah starts dramatically, quickly moving along to the scene of Nehemiah’s entreating of King Artaxerxes and his approval that sets everything else in motion. But there is a lot of information that gives perspective when looking at this key moment. Nehemiah only had the audience of the king of Persia because of his office as cupbearer. It didn’t sound like that difficult or shiny a job to me at first, but apparently the cupbearer also functioned as a coordinator of the king’s security. He wasn’t just a servant whose head the king balanced his drink on for kicks. They had a close enough relationship that ol’ Xerxes noticed his long face and was moved to inquire about it. Nehemiah was trusted, valued, and favored. He must have possessed exceptional character, capability and education to have risen through the ranks to achieve this honored position. All of this played into not only Nehemiah’s leadership acumen to rebuild Jerusalem, but in creating the opportunity for the task itself.

Nehemiah’s spiritual preparation is revealed alongside his professional preparation. In his reaction and despair at the news of Jerusalem’s state, and in the content of his prayer, we can see that Nehemiah knew God deeply in His word and in prayer. He knew the majesty of the Lord, thus he understood the severity of wickedness of the people of Israel. He did not spare himself or his father’s house in this indictment. But he also knew the Lord’s promises and His ways. And so from the very bottom of his heart, Nehemiah cried out to the Lord in prayer, asking Him to remember His promise, to deliver His people, to make His name dwell among them again. Nehemiah mourned and fasted at this for months. This was no passing burden that bummed him out for a week, this was a prolonged period of spiritual torment and nakedness. This is important to remember when we come across the actual moment of his asking, which passes in just a short paragraph of scripture. There is a line that the first-person recounting really adds weight to; when Artaxerxes asks what’s troubling him, Nehemiah tells us that he was very much afraid. Though he’d been praying and seeking and begging the Lord day after day for this exact chance for months, he was scared. What he was asking could be perceived as disloyalty and might bring him harm. In this moment of truth, Nehemiah lifted up a prayer in the space of a breath–“So I prayed to the God of heaven. And I said to the king…”– and found the courage to present his request. Would he have found the courage if he had been praying for only 1 month, or 3 weeks, or 5 days? We don’t know. But we know that he prayed for months, and when the time came his faith and trust in God stood firm, and his request was granted. 

Despite the many other difficult situations that Nehemiah would come to encounter, there are no other instances of him revealing his fear apart from this. But I find this sole and early instance a very personally comforting and applicable insight. I used to feel a constant and deep sense of inadequacy in serving the Lord because of fear. Fear of failing, fear of not measuring up, fear of not doing things “the right way” (i.e. perfectly) and fear of not being prepared or equipped in comparison to others.  It was paralzying, and it made serving very tough at times, even in minor tasks. I believed that if God wanted me to do something, He would give me some kind of magic confirmation, a big sign in the sky or a text message, and that I’d have no doubts and no uncertainties and do it perfectly, the first time, every time. When I did not receive such a confirmation (and I never did, though He may have sent a text when my phone was on the fritz back in January), I’d begin to doubt if what I was getting involved in was really the right decision, despite a host of other indicators and evidence that the Lord was indeed blessing what I was doing. That fear and anxiety would build on itself, and I would inevitably begin to condemn myself for not having the courage to make the perfect choice in whatever situation I was worrying about.

I still see this pattern in my life, particularly in considering a future in ministry. Fear and anxiety fester where faith and trust do not yet reach. But the Lord leads us there, shining His light brighter and deeper in our hearts, so we can remember the truth that fear tries to make us forget; I may not have the courage, I may not have the capabilities, but I do have Christ. And as I know Him more, I trust Him more, and that trust manifests itself not in perfect capability, but in obedience. That is when my courage is found. Nehemiah’s faith bore courage in the face of  the most powerful man in the world, when the danger of harm was clear and present, a moment when fear of man was most intense and justified. Will not the courage to step out in faith be available in our key moments, as uncomfortable or uncertain as we may be, if only we know and love and trust the Lord enough to say yes to the callings He lays on our hearts? In business, they say success is when preparation meets opportunity, but for the servant of God, success is when preparation and opportunity meet trust and obedience.